57.Round Two

I still see Fifty-seven (aka Mustache) when I walk by the coffee shop.  Sometimes I stop in for a drink, but more often than not I go in and say hi on my way somewhere and at some point lingering hugs became part of the walk-by routine.  Last week as I was walking by he and his co-worker were behind the counter and waved me in, and of course I obliged.  As I entered Fifty-seven started dancing: I'm talking breakdancing and slow-motion dancing - the kind of dancing that makes my heart leap out of my chest.  Up until this point, I had gone back and forth on whether or not I should ask him out officially (I'd given him my number a couple months earlier saying to call me for a haircut, to borrow my bike, or just because), and after seeing his moves my crush on Fifty-seven multiplied.  I decided I had to ask him out, but not right then in front of his co-worker.  Last night I went in after work with a solid plan of getting a drink, reading, and asking him on a date before I left.  By the time I arrived it was nearly his closing time, but he came around and enveloped me in a hug and then held my hand for a few brief seconds as he told me I could hang out as long as I wanted while he closed up because he had some things to do.  Then he made me a hot chocolate with a heart design, and while I know it's a barista art form and not something that he's only ever done for me, my heart kind of fluttered, and I told him it was beautiful, to which he immediately replied, "You're beautiful." I blushed and sat down to read and tried to remember how to make my heart beat at a normal rate.

For the next hour he sat across from me and applied for health insurance while I read and we made small talk and mildly flirted.  When it was time to leave he was getting his things from the other side of the counter and started legitimately beat-boxing.  I could not stop smiling as I tried to talk to him and he put whatever I said into beat-box robotics and danced.  Then after a few minutes he said, "I'd love to stay and flirt, but I do have a girl."  My mind said, "Blech," while I told him, "Of course you do; you're too fantastic not to have a girl.  It's good to know, though, otherwise I would continue to flirt and insist we go on a date."  Then he held my hand in his hands and just said, "But you and me..."  I replied, "Yes, but you have a girl."  He told me he still wanted a long hug goodbye.  The thing about me is that I have trained myself well to put up a gate around my heart and emotions and turn off my feelings as soon as I find out someone I like isn't available; I forget that it's much easier for me to do this than others.  He walked around, gave me a hug, and then kissed me.  Like a kiss that in any other situation I'd be all swooning, and while I may have swooned for a second my brain quickly realized, "Woah, his tongue is in your mouth and his hands on your bum; not cool." He apologized by saying, "I'm sorry, I had to indulge myself."  I told him I didn't want to be the reason he wasn't a good boyfriend.  He said, "No, I'm sorry, it's not your fault."  Then he kissed me again.  What?!  He apologized again and said, "Well, now I'm just over indulging, but I can't help it...that smile."  Apparently my smile is his kryptonite.  I told him I didn't want to be a temptation, so I wrapped my scarf around my face and told him bye and that we'd be friends.  In reality other than waving while walking by, I know that it's best for me not to actually go in if he's working alone.

Things I took away from this:
- I wasn't imagining the attraction between the two of us.
- A kiss from a guy with a mustache isn't horrible at all.
- I could never date a guy knowing they kissed someone when they weren't single.
- I don't want to be a home wrecker, ever.
- Confirmation in my belief that people should have to wear badges that read, "Single, Straight, Looking for commitment" or whatever their particular case may be.