Type

If someone asks me what my type of guy is I tell them a guy that's witty and looks a little (or a lot) scruffy.  Maybe it's just because a man with a beard stands out from other men (kind of like the one guy in the room who is wearing a shirt that isn't a plaid button up also stands out), but I've always been drawn to guys with beards.

However, based on some recent observations, bearded men might not be my type (or maybe I'm not their type?) considering that the majority of guys that I've gone out with don't have beards.  I came to the conclusion yesterday that in reality my type is a guy who is a smoker (of pot or cigarettes).  This realization is hilariously ironic because I can't stand the idea of cigarettes, and I don't like the smell of pot.  I've never been that girl who has a list of qualities of the perfect guy, but I did always say I would never date a smoker.  Lies.  All lies.  My first real boyfriend was a smoker; I knew it way before our first date, but his wittiness outweighed that detail, and as a bonus he had a beard.  Thinking about the guys that I've gone on dates with in the last couple years the majority of them smoke pot (after all, this is San Francisco), cigarettes, or both.   I swear I don't seek them out for this specific characteristic; in fact, except for one of them I didn't know about these particular hobbies until our first dates.  So just like some people are drawn to certain pheromones, I'm apparently drawn to men who have some kind of smoke lingering around them.

58.Friend

Two weeks after the best line of 2014, "that's enough for now," Fifty-eight and I finally saw each other and spent eight hours together walking around town, seeing a movie, dining, and meeting up with friends.  During the last twenty minutes of those eight hours I finally worked in the attempted make-out session into the conversation - apparently I can only go so long before my thoughts wrapped in mental straight jackets escape.  As we were walking back to my neighborhood at the end of our fun-filled day we were talking about our mutual friend who's boyfriend just got transferred to several states away, which led to the conversation of long-distance relationships.  Fifty-eight commented that timing is key when it comes to relationships, and that became my segue..."Yeah, timing is important; like when I wake you up in the middle of the night and ask if you want to kiss."  We both started laughing, and he said he was glad I said something about that night.  We came to the conclusion that neither of us are necessarily looking for something serious, and that he was caught off guard and didn't want to lead me on, but that we both like to kiss, and maybe one day we can kiss just for fun.  Once all of that was cleared up, I made fun of him about his reaction of "That's all for now."  Not that we were really nervous around each other before, but the next night when we met up for dinner and Motown we were definitely more relaxed.  I'm glad to know that we can still be friends, and that I don't have to worry about flirting or not flirting with other guys around him.

58.That's Enough For Now

When I told my best friend the following story his instant response was, "Do you ever feel like you're on an episode of New Girl?"  Absolutely, all the time, and it's pretty great.  I met Fifty-eight twice through mutual friends several months ago when he was visiting the Bay Area, and then recently at a New Year's Eve party.  At this party he told me that he had officially moved to the area and that he was hoping he'd see me and asked for my number.  That's a good sign, right?  Good, yes; clear, apparently not.  The following week he got a hold of me and we made loose plans to meet up when I was off work.  I let him know that I'd be finished after 6:30; at 7:00 I was still waiting to hear back from him and decided to go get some food (my stomach waits for no man, plus I wasn't sure if dinner was even on our agenda).  When I'd almost cleared my plate, he texted me to apologize and ask if it was too late to hang out; I told him where I was and he met me there.  The first downfall is that I was sitting at a place where I know all the people working, so they stood around and chatted with us and then asked if we were going to Motown Monday.  I hadn't mentioned that to him because in my head I had already decided I didn't need to take him to my absolute favorite I'm-a-complete-regular-there place to dance on our first night out (mainly because I had no idea if I was supposed to consider this a date), but he was intrigued and asked what they were talking about, to which one of the girls told him, "Only Penelope's favorite place to be on any given Monday." Fifty-eight looked at me and said, "That sounds fun, I'm game." Fantastic.  We go, have a great time, and then he goes there with me three weeks in a row...and never makes a move on me.  After the third week of barely-there communication throughout the week, but always wanting to come in to the city to go dancing with me for Motown night, I have absolutely zero idea what's happening.  I'm fine if it's nothing, but I really want to know if for no other reason than, "Can I flirt and dance with other people, or do you like me and are just being really slow about letting me in on the secret?"  That's what I want to blurt out, but I'm trying to teach myself to keep some things in my head and try letting others take the lead (people apparently call this method, "letting things happen organically." I think it's stupid, but that could just be because I'm no good at it).

Fast forward to after the third Motown night, a group of us had made plans to go to karaoke.  Fifty-eight was excited for this, and I told him that he could stay at my place that night (in a non-slutty way, more of a "hey, you live across the bridge and will be drinking so this makes sense" kind of way).  At the end of the night we told everyone bye and headed to my place, and I managed to keep my "what is happening between us?!?!?" thoughts to myself.  We fell asleep pretty much immediately, and when I say "we" I mean "he" because let's be honest, when there's a guy (whether you have a crush on him or not) sleeping in your bed you don't sleep because chances are you're way to worried about the important things in life - what if I snore, please don't let me fart, did I drool, how bad is my breath.  At some point I did manage to fall asleep, but then I woke up and thought he might be awake, too, so I tested the waters by whispering, "Question." "Yeah?" "I know you were excited about a good night sleep, but would it mess things up if we kissed a little?" "Sure.  We can do that."  This is what you've all been waiting for...he puts his arm around me and gives me four (I repeat four) pecks (I repeat pecks) on the mouth and then says, "I don't mind getting closer, but that's enough for now." What?!?!  I honestly had no idea how to respond to that other than to just say okay and then laugh hysterically in my mind.  I mean, seriously, that response was not on my radar at all.  I expected, "I don't think that's a good idea" or "Absolutely."  It's been a week and I'm still laughing about his response.

I could justify his reaction and give my theories on this situation, but...that's enough for now (this is officially my favorite phrase for 2014).