57.Round Two

I still see Fifty-seven (aka Mustache) when I walk by the coffee shop.  Sometimes I stop in for a drink, but more often than not I go in and say hi on my way somewhere and at some point lingering hugs became part of the walk-by routine.  Last week as I was walking by he and his co-worker were behind the counter and waved me in, and of course I obliged.  As I entered Fifty-seven started dancing: I'm talking breakdancing and slow-motion dancing - the kind of dancing that makes my heart leap out of my chest.  Up until this point, I had gone back and forth on whether or not I should ask him out officially (I'd given him my number a couple months earlier saying to call me for a haircut, to borrow my bike, or just because), and after seeing his moves my crush on Fifty-seven multiplied.  I decided I had to ask him out, but not right then in front of his co-worker.  Last night I went in after work with a solid plan of getting a drink, reading, and asking him on a date before I left.  By the time I arrived it was nearly his closing time, but he came around and enveloped me in a hug and then held my hand for a few brief seconds as he told me I could hang out as long as I wanted while he closed up because he had some things to do.  Then he made me a hot chocolate with a heart design, and while I know it's a barista art form and not something that he's only ever done for me, my heart kind of fluttered, and I told him it was beautiful, to which he immediately replied, "You're beautiful." I blushed and sat down to read and tried to remember how to make my heart beat at a normal rate.

For the next hour he sat across from me and applied for health insurance while I read and we made small talk and mildly flirted.  When it was time to leave he was getting his things from the other side of the counter and started legitimately beat-boxing.  I could not stop smiling as I tried to talk to him and he put whatever I said into beat-box robotics and danced.  Then after a few minutes he said, "I'd love to stay and flirt, but I do have a girl."  My mind said, "Blech," while I told him, "Of course you do; you're too fantastic not to have a girl.  It's good to know, though, otherwise I would continue to flirt and insist we go on a date."  Then he held my hand in his hands and just said, "But you and me..."  I replied, "Yes, but you have a girl."  He told me he still wanted a long hug goodbye.  The thing about me is that I have trained myself well to put up a gate around my heart and emotions and turn off my feelings as soon as I find out someone I like isn't available; I forget that it's much easier for me to do this than others.  He walked around, gave me a hug, and then kissed me.  Like a kiss that in any other situation I'd be all swooning, and while I may have swooned for a second my brain quickly realized, "Woah, his tongue is in your mouth and his hands on your bum; not cool." He apologized by saying, "I'm sorry, I had to indulge myself."  I told him I didn't want to be the reason he wasn't a good boyfriend.  He said, "No, I'm sorry, it's not your fault."  Then he kissed me again.  What?!  He apologized again and said, "Well, now I'm just over indulging, but I can't help it...that smile."  Apparently my smile is his kryptonite.  I told him I didn't want to be a temptation, so I wrapped my scarf around my face and told him bye and that we'd be friends.  In reality other than waving while walking by, I know that it's best for me not to actually go in if he's working alone.

Things I took away from this:
- I wasn't imagining the attraction between the two of us.
- A kiss from a guy with a mustache isn't horrible at all.
- I could never date a guy knowing they kissed someone when they weren't single.
- I don't want to be a home wrecker, ever.
- Confirmation in my belief that people should have to wear badges that read, "Single, Straight, Looking for commitment" or whatever their particular case may be.

Fifty-nine

Yes or no.  I understand the need to be polite, but compliments confuse delusional (optimistic?) people like me.  I've had a crush on Fifty-nine for a while and decided I needed to take action.  I texted him, "Idea!  If you are single and interested, let's you and I go on a date!  If you aren't single or interested let's continue having fun conversations.  Thoughts?"  Fifty-nine replied a few hours later, "I'm flattered Penelope and love ideas, so happy you asked.  I'm in the second category which is a really good one for me since you are about as cool as they come."  A normal-minded person would read this text and think, "Rejected."  However, I initially read it as, "Flattered!  Love ideas!  Happy!  Cool as they come!"  After review I thought, "Second category?"  Let me break the possible categories down for you: single (1), interested (2), not single (3) not interested (4); OR single and interested (1), not single and not interested (2).  What was my next step, you ask?  First I read his response seventeen more times, and then replied, "Just to be clear, was that a yes or no to the date?"  It was a no.

Two days later who did I run into at a lodge up in Tahoe?  Fifty-nine, of course; seriously, my life entertains me endlessly.  While walking through the lodge, I saw a guy I knew and went up to say hi; then reaching towards me from behind that guy was Fifty-nine.  He introduced me to his friends that were there, and then commented that he didn't know I came up to Tahoe.  I told him I just happened to be there with some friends for the weekend (sadly none of my friends were around at that moment to validate that they actually existed), and then I promptly excused myself to find said friends before the following thoughts that were bubbling up in my brain escaped my lips (because we all know how I tend to make things awkward when I speak): "I just wanted to confirm face-to-face that you said no because tone and facial expressions are really important, don't you think?" or "Yeah, I don't typically come up here, this must be a sign, right?"  For once in my life I stopped when I was ahead.  Okay, I wasn't really ahead, but at least I stopped before I got even further behind.