Fifty-five

I'm a pro at making first impressions; they might not be good, but they're definitely impressions.  Out with a few friends at a crowded bar, Marianne and I were left to hold our cherished spot when the others went to get drinks.  Fifty-five was standing nearby, and I recruited him to help us protect our territory.  Impression one: when he asked what he needed to do, I advised that he dance like a scarecrow and then proceeded to demonstrate how I thought a scarecrow would dance (I think this particular dance could be the next big thing...copyright pending).  Impression two: a guy nearby who was looking for a reason to talk to Marianne came up and introduced himself and then asked if Fifty-five and I were related.  I replied, "Well we were going to be boyfriend and girlfriend, but now you just made it awkward."  Amazingly fifty-five thought I was funny rather than strange and stuck around for a while and talked with me before going to find his friends.

Later on when he was leaving he came over to tell me bye, and I told him I hoped to run into him again.  When I was heading out soon after I stopped to talk to one of the bouncers out front, which equals me hugging him and chatting while I pretend to work there and stamp people's hands as they entered the bar.  It so happened that Fifty-five was out front talking to his buddies, and when he saw me he came over and asked if I worked there. I told him that sometimes I just like to give back to the community and volunteer my time, he laughed, and we started talking some more.  His friends left, and we kept talking for about twenty minutes or so before I told him that I had to go catch my bus but that we should continue this conversation.  I asked for his number and as he gave it to me, I also asked if he had a wife and ten kids.  He said no, and I followed up by asking if he had a wife and any kids.  His answer was that he had zero kids and zero wives.

Here's what I know about this guy so far: he thinks I'm funny, he has kind eyes (I realize that this is a silly thing to state; maybe a comment that someone makes about a neighbor in a Lifetime movie right before the character with kind eyes is arrested for a mass murder, but it's true that Fifty-five has kind eyes), he lives in SF but works in Berkeley, a bicycle is his main mode of transportation, and he has an amazing beard that is longer than my hair (I kid you not, this guy's beard is almost to his chest - simply put, it's amazing and it took all my self-control not to talk about it).

Fifty-four

Once upon a time there was an extremely drunk girl who overheard part of a conversation between two people on a first date.  What she gathered from her eavesdropping was that the guy had a girlfriend and was a cheater.  In reality she had heard the last line of a story I was telling about an interaction with a taxi driver that ended with, "I'm going to call your girlfriend and tell her you're being a jerk." Drunk girl's assumption was way off, and she insisted on glaring at me while asking Fifty-four multiple times if he had a girlfriend.  Awkward and hilarious with an extra helping of awkward (normally I can diffuse situations and charm people, but since she had concluded that I was a home wrecker I decided to live with her dirty looks and keep my so-called charm to myself). Luckily she stumbled away from the date in the first thirty minutes.  Fifty-four and I continued on and got to know each other after we laughed about that situation.  He's 29, skateboarding is his main mode of transportation, he's protective of his two younger sisters, and he has a genuine smile that could make you forget that you were in a bad mood.

This first date began at midnight, which could come across as sketchy but it was necessary because of scheduling and convenience.  We had been trying to find a time to go out, but I was out of town for a few days and then didn't have a day off when I got back and he had to work until 11:00 each night that week.  I went with some friends to hear a band one night, and Fifty-four and I made plans to meet up after he finished with work (my friends really wanted him to meet me where we were, but I decided listening to a loud band with said friends chaperoning us might not be the ideal scene for a first date). Instead I met him at a dive punk bar for drinks that we closed down and followed that up with pizza slices at 2am before our shared bus ride to our respective homes.

Maybe you'll recall the ballers on a budget from a while back; Fifty-four (fact: B.O.B. is how I've saved him in my phone) was one of those guys.  I ran into him again a couple weeks ago and decided he was a fun guy and that we should go out; he said he would really like that, so we made it happen.  He seems like a pretty chill guy who loves life, and I look forward to going out with him again.