White Lie...Downward Spiral

There's a 60+ year old Israeli man who works at the corner store that is next to my job.  About two years ago he told me he was going home to Israel and asked what kind of man I wanted him to bring back for me.  That friendly five minute conversation is the only time we've ever referred to my relationship status in the four years I've frequented his store.  Last week when this same man asked me, "How is your honey?" I, for no reason at all, replied that my honey was fine.  Lies.  I have no idea if my honey is fine because I don't have a honey.  The following, my friends, is a parable of why we (ahem, I) shouldn't lie.

Him: How is your honey?

The Liar: Fine.

Him: How long have you been with this man?

The Liar: Three months.

Him: So not too long.

The Liar: Nope, it's still new.

Him: What number is he? Fifteen, Twenty-two...

The Liar: (first thinking to herself, "I know I gravitate towards younger guys, but fifteen?!") He's 32.

Him: Okay.  What number was your favorite?

The Liar gives him a quizzical look.

Him: One, seventeen, thirty-two?

The Liar gives him a deeply confused look.

Him: Because I know some women say that the first is their favorite because they gave their virginity to him.

The Liar's face definitely gets red and she quickly walks out of the store saying, "Uhhhhh, I don't remember...it was so long ago!

And that, boys and girls, is why you don't lie.  You think you're telling someone that your made-up boyfriend is 32, but that person really asked how many lovers you've had.