49.5 & Turbulence

Forty-nine was in town to do some work on his rally car, and we made plans to see each other before he drove back to LA.  He said he was picking me up in his rally car, and I automatically smiled and that smile turned into nonstop giggles when he arrived.  This is not his car, but I want you to have a vague idea of what the inside of a rally car looks like.  Those bars on the side?  Yeah, they're not attached to the door, which means I was cracking up as I tried to gracefully maneuver myself in that car with a walking boot while wearing a dress.  I felt like a bad ass as I buckled up my 5-point seatbelt (after he showed me how to do it) and we took off in the loudest car in town.  It was a gorgeous day filled with ridiculous amounts of traffic in the city, so we decided to finish the Bullitt chase scene that would get us away from the traffic.   

At the end of the chase scene we stopped for lunch, and then I decided we should go to Lake Merced in the hopes of it being less crowded than the park on such a perfect day.  We were in luck because there were more ducks around than people, and we accidentally found a sidewalk that randomly stopped in the water.  We politely talked for awhile like adults before we made out like teenagers - yep, we were those people that if I had seen us I would have muttered, "Geez, get out of here." Thankfully no one yelled at us and there was only an occasional ruckus from the ducks watching.  Finally we got control of ourselves and talked some more before he drove me home.

The next two days we were chatting nonstop - sometimes asking silly get to know you questions and other times having some exchanges on more serious topics.  In the midst of it all I was trying to convince Forty-nine that I wasn't perfect, and he was asking when he could see me again.  I told him he made my stomach flip in a good way with that question and we tried to figure out a time.  In the meantime, my friend that I went speed dating with was in LA, so I suggested that they meet up and talk about horrible I am.  At the end of the night Forty-nine told me that my friend had nothing but good things to say about me and that "My theory still stands: either you are not real, or I'm already dead :)"

The next morning I woke up and decided I wanted/needed to tell him about this blog.  I've watched way too many teen movies where let's say one boy bets another boy to ask the unpopular girl out on a date for the dance.  The boy takes the bet, ends up liking the girl, but then the girl finds about the original bet and drama ensues.  I don't like drama, and I wanted to maintain the honesty that Forty-nine and I had, so I opted to come clean about it.  This day will now be forever known as the time I held my breath for an entire day because it was touch and go there for awhile.  Partly because I told him right before I went to work and wasn't available to talk about the bomb I just dropped on him - not my best timing, but when I decide to do something, I do it then and there.  He asked if he could read the blog, so I sent him the link.  The first message I received afterwards from him was, "MVP, huh? Not bad :)" and I asked  if it was too painful or weird.  He replied that he was a little weirded out but it wasn't anything he couldn't recover from, and I thought "Phew, we're golden."  I told him I just wanted to be honest, and he said he appreciated that and admitted he would have been pissed if he'd found out about it later down the line.  Then I didn't really hear anything from him until he said that he was working on an email.  I hesitantly checked my email nonstop after that.  In the evening I still hadn't heard anything more from him so I sent him a message asking how we were, and he told me that he read them all.  Yikes!  I love this blog and don't think there's anything incriminating on it, but I'll admit it kind of freaked me out that he'd read all of the posts, so I started reading them all again while I waited to hear more from him.

By the end of the night we talked things out over the phone and addressed some of our concerns like that neither of us really knows what we want; we like each other, but we're both kind of hesitant about pursuing a legit relationship for different reasons.  We decided that the distance will help us take things slowly, and that we'll keep on talking like we've been doing. I'm going to continue with the blog (I got his permission for this) which is probably more than a little weird because he's going to keep reading it. Insert nervous laughter here.

Conclusion: We are back on track, but we have no idea where this track is heading.

Fifty-Three

I was the MC for a BINGO event the other night at a neighborhood bar for a fundraiser (I don't want to brag, but if BINGO MC was a profession I would own that job!).  I made so many ridiculous comments as I called out the numbers; for example, I might have said, "I-24.  I am not 24, but if you are there is a good chance I will hit on you tonight."  I also made way too many "ball" references; maybe people should not let me hold a mic for two hours.  At some point in the evening I requested someone to write a haiku about BINGO, and this is what I was given to read to everyone:

Gently grasping balls

Chosen blindly in a bar

She holds good fortune.

As I was packing everything up, Fifty-three walked over to tell me that I did a great job and that while he did not play any of the games, he wanted to donate some money to our cause.  I told him for that I would give him a personalized BINGO card with the haiku written down for him.  Then as we were chatting I told him I was going to write down my name and number, too.  I added, "But now I'm not writing down the haiku because that just seems weird for my name and number to be next to that poem."  In the meantime, one of my friends who had been drinking thought she would be a helpful wingwoman by adding, "She's been handling balls all night, so she has a lot of practice."  My face got a little red as I awkwardly laughed and handed him the card.  As he took it and said thanks he added, "I'm going to walk away and take a shot now."  I don't think I'll be hearing from him.

The Fake Finale

It has been 77 weeks since I started the fantastic goal of asking out one guy a week, and I've loved every bit of it!  Including 37 messages I sent on Ok Cupid in these 77 weeks I have asked out 89 guys in some form or other.  Here are some thoughts and tips from this experience.

There's the saying that you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince, and I will agree with that statement.  Granted I did not find a prince, but with most of these guys I knew right away that there was probably no long-term connection; I just wanted a story for my friends.  Connection or not, though, I had nothing to lose by talking to these men.  Most likely I boosted their ego, gave them a story for their friends, and I got a story and maybe even a date or a kiss.

I've always been a flirt, and that was usually the extent of my interaction with guys - flirt, make a new friend, and maybe get a random kiss.  For whatever reason I don't get asked out on a lot of dates, so with this project I've had to take my flirting to the next level and initiate dates.  One thing I have learned is that I'm still a procrastinator when it comes to this game.  Back in middle school anytime I wanted to ask someone to be my boyfriend, I would wait until the end of school on Friday (via a note or a friend, of course). My reasoning was because if they said no, I had the whole weekend to get over the rejection.  Now I find myself waiting until the end of the night, or in some cases the next day via email.  My rationale these days is that (a) I'm a chicken or (b) I'm having fun talking to the person and don't want to freak them out before it's absolutely necessary.  I've also discovered that I have no online dating game whatsoever, so after having only one date from Ok Cupid in a year I have deleted that account.

I've learned that going out by yourself is a strong way to attract men.  Apparently guys are more likely to approach you when you are alone because they are either (a) creepy or (b) perfectly nice and are just too intimidated to walk up to a group of girls.  Also, crutches and/or a cast are helpful - men really are drawn to that whole "damsel in distress" image.  Next, I'm a firm believer in the fun of speed dating; it's a hoot, and you should definitely give it a try at least once.  Finally, simply love yourself, relax, and have fun!  What have you got to lose?  If you ask out someone and they say no, you're not any more single than you were before you asked.

Enough of my deep thoughts.  I'm going to continue with this blog because I really am having fun with it. I might not keep up with asking out someone each week, but I promise I'll still flirt and make them feel uncomfortable.  Plus, I have just signed up for another speed dating event next month!  In the meantime, I've taken the liberty of reviewing the blog and creating superlatives for some of the guys.

Most amusing failed attempt - #3
Most confusing set-up  - #5
Favorite friend made - #6
Most bummed I didn't get a date - #9, #12, #35
Favorite line that I'll use again - #18
Best shocked reaction and longest chase - #21
Most ridiculous and memorable - Reverse (so ridiculous that I couldn't even number him)
Most drawn out courtship - #24
Most unexpected - #26
Most amount of promise turned to fizzle - #37, #43
MVP and worthy of a movie script - #49 (some of you will be glad to know that even though he moved to LA, against our better judgment 49 and I are still talking but have no idea what that means).

Update 40-52

The winning theme for this round seems to be location, location, location.

40 - We never went on a date, but he did stop by the salon twice, once for a haircut and another time to say goodbye because he was moving to New York.
41 - This guy told me he would see me around at our mutual friend's events, but that hasn't been the case.  However, I'm pretty sure I saw him walking down the street hand-in-hand with a lady, so it's all for the best.
42 - This was my attempt to ask a passing cyclist out for dinner.  Fail, but a funny fail.
43 - I think I really could have liked this guy, but he said his plate was too full for dating plus he was always in Sacramento for work.  I occasionally text him to see how he's doing which leads to a brief and friendly text exchange, but that's it.
44 - Oh my, I'm fine with not hearing back from this guy.  This was my OK Cupid date with the guy who was ridiculously polite (I honestly never thought I'd be annoyed by politeness).
45 - Random guy on the train who had a girlfriend.
46 - This guy still emails me to see how I'm doing, and I politely respond.
47 - I really did want to go dancing with this guy from OK Cupid, but the foot injury put an end to that date possibility because dancing seemed to be our only common ground.
48 - I gave this guy my number at trivia, but he never called.  Fail.
49 - You all swooned with me for this guy, but he's in LA now.  We're still talking, but I have no idea what the plan is with this one.
50 - Also known as Chub; he's still pursuing me and I'm playing this foot injury for all it's worth to keep him at bay because I don't think I'm interested.
51 - One of my matches from speed dating.  He's never replied to my email, so obviously he's hitting up all his other matches first and saving the best for last.
52 - My final speed dating match who was concerned that I wouldn't go out with him again. I said I would, and he said he'd call me. It's been over a week and he hasn't called. If he can't be bothered, then I can't be bothered.

Stats:
12 guys
Dates with 5 guys
2 almost date options until I got a cast
5 complete fails
3 guys who are no longer in SF

Possible conclusion: If I want someone to stay in the city, I shouldn't like them.

Fifty-two

In the midst of spending time with Forty-nine I managed to squeeze in a first date with Fifty-two, my final match from speed dating.  The only thing I remembered about Fifty-two was that he likes going to trivia, and that he was the guy I was talking with when Forty-nine gave me his number.  We met for a drink in my neighborhood after his guitar lesson.  He's been learning the guitar for a couple of years but has played the tuba since middle school and even traveled to other countries with an orchestra.  I teased him by saying, "The tuba - now that is a great fact.  You should always lead with that.  I'd date you at least a month for that." I truly have no idea why I let some words come out of my mouth.  In addition to being musical, Fifty-two has very diverse hobbies from sewing to refurbishing motorcycles.

Two hours later he insisted on driving me home even though I told him it was only two blocks away by responding to my argument, "Yes, but you're on crutches, and my car is right there."  On that very short drive he asked me, "What's your view on dating?  You made a comment earlier about dating me for a month, what did that mean?"  I appreciated his frankness and told him, "Oh that comment was just my odd sense of humor and you should disregard it.  My view on dating is that I don't really date.  I mean, I love meeting people and going on a date and getting to know them, but I'm just not that stereotypical girl who is looking for a relationship."  As I was saying this I decided I should learn how to rephrase that answer for next time so I don't sound so whorish.  As Fifty-two parked in front of my place he asked, "Okay, so does that mean I don't get to see you again?  Because I'd really like to."  I replied, "You seem like a very interesting guy, and I will definitely go out with you again."  I guess he liked that answer because he leaned over and kissed me.  We kissed for a minute, and then I pulled myself away, told him to have a good night, and he said he'd call me.