49.3 - .4 - Farewell

After our swoon-worthy second date, Forty-nine and I continued our routine of constant texting.  The next morning he asked me when I was free for the second part of the chase-scene.  I told him when I was available and added, "I feel bad taking up your time.  Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love spending the time with you, but I'm sure all of your friends want to have all the quality time with you that they can get before you leave." He generously replied, "Don't feel bad. I'm making my own decisions, plus they'll all get to see me at my goodbye party.  I like spending time with you as well.  Just bad timing that we meet as I'm leaving the city.  Plus I really want to finish the tour of the chase before I move, but I think I need to add more lookout points."  I responded by saying, "Okay, I'm fine with your friends being mad at me then.  Seriously, though, why did you have to give me your number, ya jerk."  "A good question.  And one I don't have the answer for, but I'd like to see you more before I go."  We made plans for Thursday, but then Wednesday came along and we decided we should see each other then, too.

Forty-nine was busy getting everything ready for his move, so we incorporated moving tasks into our third and fourth dates.  Wednesday he picked me up and we got ice cream before making a trip to Oakland so he could pick up his car.  Definitely not the most romantic date, but it was nice spending time with him and getting a good night kiss, of course.  We were going to finish the chase scene Thursday evening after he finished up packing; he picked me up and we ordered take-out and organized his life in piles and boxes.  In the midst of moving things around, he would walk over and say something silly such as, "You know what's better than packing?  Kissing." When we took a break to eat he asked me about my relationship history and he told me about his, and then he asked the serious question, "What happens after this weekend?"  By now you all know that I don't make it to relationship status, so when he and I first started talking I was thinking, This is perfect.  This guy is leaving in two weeks.  We'll go on a date, maybe it will be a fun story, the end.  Then he turned out to be a sweetheart to me, and I just ignored the fact that he was leaving and didn't think about the what-if questions.  When he asked me that, I immediately answered with a nervous chuckle and without thinking (which usually isn't a good thing), "I don't know.  I think Berkeley is a long-distance relationship."  He responded that he kind of thought the same, and being an unemotional idiot I didn't press it any further because, well, I'm an unemotional idiot.  By the time the packing was  all finished it was later than we expected and he asked if I still wanted to do the drive. I told him, "That's totally up to you since that is your goal.  I'm happy to go, but I'm perfectly content just staying here a while longer and talking." He agreed, but I told him he'd have to kiss me at least once.  We kissed and talked for the next couple of hours and at one point I told him, "Now I know what's going to happen after this weekend.  You're going to leave, and I'm actually going to be sad because you've been so great, and I've put you on a pedestal." He said, "Well, I do like being on a pedestal, so it's a good thing I'm leaving before you find out I'm an asshole."

Luckily before I found out about his goodbye party, I had already made dinner plans for that same night.  I say luckily because I can be comfortable and make friends in pretty much any situation, but I do think it would have been a bit odd to go to his party and tell people "Oh me? I know him because we've gone on four dates in two weeks."  Since I didn't make it there he came over this morning after he loaded up his car.  We had breakfast, I gave him a silly going-away gift, he said thanks for everything, we kissed, I told him I was going to listen to all of Whitney Houston's saddest songs for the rest of the day, we laughed, and then we said goodbye.

I'm a little sad, but I'll bounce back.  Four dates in two weeks, though, that's my longest and most successful "relationship" in three years.  Oh yeah, I'm moving up in the world.

Fifty-one

Fifty-one was the guy who left the biggest impression on me during speed dating.  Within those 5-7 minutes he gave me a hug, a high five, made up a fantastic story about how I injured my foot, and told me his address (he seriously lives 1 block away from me).  Out of all the men there, he was the one I thought, "Yes, this guy and I could get along and share lots of laughs."  However, my friend's thought was, "Um, I'm pretty sure he's gay and just came to support his friends."  Either way he and I wrote down each other's names down and were matched.

After my foot surgery I was told to stay off my feet as much as possible, so I decided I would be good and only leave my house for work and dates.  It turns out I don't like sitting at home (although I'm lucky to have amazing friends who come by and entertain me), so obviously I've been trying to go on as many dates as possible.  I sent Fifty-one an email asking if he'd like to go out and explore our neighborhood together.  That was a few days ago, and I haven't heard back from him yet.  Which is probably a good thing because maybe I should listen to my doctor and just try to be lazy.  On the other hand, Fifty-one did give me his address.  I kid, I kid.  I'm not that desperate for attention and entertainment to be the creepy girl on crutches ringing his doorbell.

49.2

I need to make sure my phone plan has unlimited texting since Forty-nine and I have been sending ridiculous amounts of messages back and forth.  At the end of our first date we had made plans to go to the park a week and a half later; apparently that wasn't soon enough because he asked if I was free on Tuesday.  Unfortunately I wasn't, so we made plans for Thursday instead.  Since he loves cars he asked if we could drive around the city following a chase scene from the movie Bullit.  The morning of our date we were finalizing the plans and he was going to pick me up after 7:30 on my corner.  I live on the second floor and going down the stairs on crutches is exhausting and daunting, so I decided just to wait until he told me he was near.  That never happened.  At 8:15 I asked him for his ETA and got no response, and at 9:15 I asked him what was happening and still didn't hear back from him.  I was bummed (partly because getting gussied up with crutches and a giant cast takes a lot of energy), but I figured there was a good explanation since he was the one initiating this date.

The next morning I finally heard from him, "I am so sorry.  I left my phone at work last night and didn't realize it until I was already back in the city.  All I remembered from your messages was 7:30 and 11th & Judah/Irving Streets.  So I drove around those blocks for an hour, but didn't see you at any point.  I did confuse a lot of your neighbors, though.  I feel so stupid.  I spent all day writing out the path of the chase scene.  I was focused on getting it done and out the door by 5 that I left my phone sitting on my desk.  Can I make it up to you? Are you still free on Sunday evening?"  I told him it was fine and that I knew something had happened, and it's partly my fault for being weird and not giving out my actual address and because I wasn't outside waiting.  Everything was back on track, and I gave him my address for our second try on Sunday.  Later that same day he asked how my day at work was, and I told him I had the day off and was relaxing at home.  He responded, "Crap.  Then my surprise of showing up at your work with flowers would seem silly.  Can I come by and drop them off to you?  They're really pretty, and I hate to waste them on the homeless guy on the corner."  Swoon!  He brought them by and apologized again for messing up the date.

Sunday came around and he took me out for a nice dinner before the drive around the city.  In the car we had a great time talking and singing to the 80's music on the radio.  We were halfway through the route of the chase scene when we stopped at one point overlooking part of the city, so we got out to enjoy the view.  Forty-nine thanked me for going on the drive with him saying it was something he'd always wanted to do but had never been motivated enough to plan it.  I told him it was my pleasure and that I was really enjoying myself.  Then just like in the movies he took one step towards me and kissed me.  Seriously, straight out of the movies!  He said that it wasn't part of the chase scene, and I told him I  would have been disappointed if it didn't happen.  We just stood there and kissed until we were both freezing.  By that time it was late, so we decided to call it a night and finish the drive later in the week.  He commented that he might have to add some more look out points to the route.  This guy is stinking precious.  This guy is leaving in one week.  Ugh.

50.1

Fifty was one of the guys from speed dating that I was matched with because we both wrote down each other's names.  All I could really remember about him was that I thought he had a good sense of humor.  When we started messaging back forth he definitely made me laugh by writing things like, "Greetings! I'm looking for a girl who just got a brand new foot." He was bummed that he had to wait a few days for me to recover from my foot surgery before we could go out, which I thought was endearing.  A few days later after he had been out drinking beers with his friends at a baseball game he sent me a message saying, "We're going out, and we're going to have an awesome time!  I'm tired of waiting." I told him I liked his enthusiasm, so he asked if I wanted to watch a movie that night.  Fact: it was 10:15PM on a Monday night at the time of this text message, so I said, "I'm a firm believer in first dates starting before 9PM.  Call me old fashioned."  So we set up a date for a few days later, and after that was settled, he said, "I'm stoked.  Full chub for sure."  {For those of you who aren't up on your inappropriate lingo, I will explain that phrase in the most delicate way that I can.  Chub is slang for a boner.  Yep, there's no good way to say that.  I know of one person in my life (now apparently two) that uses that phrase occasionally and he uses it in reference to a really good dinner at a restaurant, so it's not necessarily a sexual term, but I'm still not a fan of it.}  I responded to Fifty by saying, "Oh goodness.  You're cut off now."  He apologized and I told him, "For future reference when a girl talks about being old fashioned you should never reply with anything about a chub."  He definitely lost points for that, but since we'd already set up our date plans and he'd been drinking with the boys I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

I met him after work for dinner and a movie and had a relatively nice time.  He is funny in a Jack Black kind of way, which could be obnoxious, but I haven't decided yet.  He made several references to our future dates, so apparently he thinks this is happening.  My crutches came in handy because when he dropped me off at the same time he was apparently leaning toward me and tried to put his arm around me, I was trying to maneuver my crutches out of the car so I had already turned away from him.  Luckily I didn't realize what was happening until I felt his arm on my shoulder, and by that time I was already swinging my leg out of the car.  I politely told him thanks for a nice evening, and he said he would talk to me soon.  I'll probably go out with him another time, but as my friend pointed out that since I had no urge to kiss him at the end of the date then I probably wouldn't want to next time either.  Fair enough, but I do like to give people a few chances to woo me.

49.1

Forty-nine and I went on a date the night after we met, and it was absolutely lovely.  He is from Boston, is 37 (As much as I like the younger guys, it is really refreshing when a date gets my MacGyver references.), has lived here for 6 years, is an electrical engineer, has the perfect sense of humor and an armful of tattoos, does rally car racing, and is moving to LA in two weeks for a new job.  Forty-nine had dinner plans that evening, so we just met for drinks beforehand and talked so much that he was late meeting his friends.  One of our topics of conversation was making a list of things he needs to do and see before he leaves the city, and I insisted that he has to go watch the roller skaters in the park on a Sunday.

When we left the bar he gave me a hug, and I told him that I had a lot of fun.  His response was, "Good, I did, too.  Want to do this again, let's say Sunday to watch the roller skaters?"  I looked down and gave my crutches and walking boot a disgusted look and had to tell him, "Since I'm having surgery on Friday, I sadly don't think I'm going to be up for anything on Sunday."  Without missing a beat he replied, "Okay, then we'll go next Sunday."  I smiled and said, "Next Sunday it is."

Forty-nine and I have texted back and forth pretty consistently about nothing in particular or too serious.  I love his sense of humor, and I'm excited to see him again!  I could say that it totally stinks that he's moving, but part of me wonders if I would be as interested in him if he were staying.  I'll be the first to admit that the way my brain and emotions work are idiotic.  Regardless, I'm having a fantastic time for now!

Forty-nine

Instead of hobbling around waiting for the speed dating event to start, I decided to sit at one of the benches near the door until it began.  Forty-nine walked in and looked around, so trying to be helpful I asked, "Are you here for the speed dating?" "Excuse me?"  "Speed dating, is that why you're here?" "Is that what's happening?  I wondered why it was so crowded.  No, I'm not...are you?"  "Yeah I am, it's going to be great.  You should sign up."  He said that he was just waiting for a friend, so while we both waited we made small talk and declared it my warm-up for the evening.  He asked me the concept of speed dating and if I'd ever been before.  I told him it was my first time and that the conversations were 7-10 minutes.  He decided that 7-10 minutes was too much time, and that 6-minute dates would be sufficient.  Forty-nine told me he couldn't be bothered anyway because he was moving to LA in two weeks for a new job, but that he and his friend would enjoy watching the awkwardness of the evening. When I was called over for the first round of dates, I told him good luck with his move and new job and he told me good luck with my dates.  The end.  Pleasant conversation with a nice man who is moving, but I was on my way to meet 22 new guys.

Halfway through the evening on about date fifteen, Forty-nine walks over to the corner where I was sitting, hands me a coaster, and says, "It was nice meeting you, I hope you have a great time tonight" and walked away.  I could feel my face turn bright red and the guy that was sitting in front of me just stopped talking for a second and then recovered by awkwardly saying, "Well, you seem to be doing all right."  I apologized and told him I couldn't explain what just happened.  On the inside I was just smiling and giggling from that unexpected event.

The next morning I started a fun text exchange with Forty-nine.

Me: You officially get five gold stars for the number delivery.  It definitely made the guy stop in his tracks and made me blush. Fantastic.

49: I didn't mean to bust up the party, but I was leaving.  I apologize for the number on the coaster; it seemed pretty cliche but all they had at the bar were black napkins and black pens and it all seemed a bit too goth.

Me: Are you kidding, that's my favorite story of the night.

49: How was the night overall? Do you think that my idea of 6-minute dating would catch on?

Me: I really enjoyed it because I love talking to strangers.  I think your 6-minute date idea would revolutionize the dating world. I could probably spare 6 minutes this evening if you wanted to test out your idea.

49: My idea is still in the prototype stage, but maybe it's time to bring it live.

Then we made date plans.  So yeah, I went speed dating and got the number of a guy who wasn't even there for the event.  I'll take it.

Speed Dating!

Oh, sweet speed dating, I think I've found a new hobby! If only it weren't so darn expensive I would probably go several times because I really did enjoy it.  I'm not sure where to begin, so let me just say that if speed dating was a sport, I would be the team captain.  Here is the overall breakdown of how the evening worked.  Everyone received a scorecard and a number.  On the scorecard you could write down people's names, take notes, or rate them from "Not in a million years" to "I'd definitely fancy a go."  The ladies remained seated through the night, while the men rotated on a 5-7 minute basis (the owner of the stopwatch did not seem to be very consistent).  In case people were really struggling with conversation, each girl was given three ice breaker questions.  I didn't use mine because (a) I didn't need to, and (b) they were lame. 1. When are you apt to get goosebumps? When I'm cold. 2. Describe something beautiful.  I'm looking at it right now. 3. What do you do on a cold day? Get goosebumps. 

My advice for when you go speed dating is to wear something to stand out (like my crutches and walking boot) and to write down something about each guy that you will remember two hours later.  At the beginning of the night I wrote down the guy's name and as they rotated I checked off 1-5 on the scale of what I thought about them thinking that's all I would need.  Nope.  By the end of the night I had talked to 22 guys for 5-7 minutes, and for the life of me I couldn't remember who Josh and Kevin were and why I had rated them with a four.  Here are a few guys that I remember from the evening:

A - a charmer from Romania, immediately asked, "Why is someone with your beauty need to be here?" I told him it was a mystery to me and then asked him the same question. "Because I have never met you.  Now we can go."
B - a jolly young man from India.  His first question was if I bought my speed dating on Groupon or Living Social and where were my friends.  I told him Groupon and then pointed to my friend.  He laughed and said he should receive an award because so far he is the only person who came on his own and paid full price.
C - the only one really quiet and awkward guy of the evening.  I almost busted out the icebreaker questions on him, but I powered through with small talk until it was time to rotate.
D - the very positive guy who confessed that the first time he did speed dating he didn't get any matches.
E - a clumsy guy who felt a connection because of my walking boot and put my hand on his knee (then held his hand over mine on his knee - awkward?) while he demonstrated one of his knee injuries.
F - a street pharmacist.  Yup, that's what he told me, and for the sake of not being judgmental I went along with it, which I think freaked him out a little bit.

At the end of the night, everyone turns in their cards with names of the people you're interested in written down.  If those same people write down your name, BINGO!  I received an email the next day from the speed dating organizers that told me three of the four guys I had written down, had also written down my name.  Not too shabby!  Let's get things started.

Bonus for my speed dating ego (although I'm sure they send this to everyone, I like to think it was just for me) was this part of the message from the speed dating people: You're just what we're looking for! Because you were so popular - we would like to welcome you to our Preferred Dater Club. Anytime you wish to return - simply e-mail us and we'll send you a code for a discount on your next purchase from us.

Forty-eight

Forty-eight and his friend were lucky enough to be sitting by themselves in a big booth that I wanted for trivia, so I befriended them and flirted, as is my way.  I politely asked if they were staying for trivia and when they said no I asked if I could sit with them to keep the booth for my friends.  After they said yes, I told them that after the game they were watching was over they should join us for trivia.  They said maybe, they told me when and which team to cheer for in the hockey match they were watching, and I got to know them (Forty-eight is a cook and just moved here from LA a month ago because he needed a change of scenery).  I introduced them to my friends, and they decided they could stay for a while longer to help us with our trivia.  When they finally decided it was time for them to head out I gave Forty-eight my number and as I handed it to him I said, "Here you go! For all of your dancing, karaoke, salon, and tour guide needs.  Give me a call."  He said thanks, put it in his pocket, they told us bye, and that was the end of that.

Forty-seven

My ego is huge, so despite the little luck I've had I haven't given up on OK Cupid attempts yet.  Forty-seven and I have exchanged a few messages about dance offs and music.  We discovered that we both like salsa dancing, and I told him that while I love salsa dancing I'm a horrible follower.  He decided if that was true it's because I just haven't had the right leader.  I liked that response and suggested a place we could go that has salsa night a few times a week.  Unfortunately, he chose a night that I wasn't available, and I haven't heard from him since.  Hopefully he doesn't think I was trying to blow him off.  To make it better I now have a fractured foot, so even if he does get back to me I won't be dancing for a long while.

For the record, not being able to go dancing hurts my heart more than any guy not calling me back.

Forty-six

Honestly, I'm not super-excited about Forty-six, but I figure nothing amazing has happened with the guys I have wanted to go out with, so why the heck not?  He and his friend stopped me a couple of weeks ago as I was heading into a pub and asked if I knew where they could find some live music.  They were friendly (and I apparently needed attention), so I talked with them for a few minutes before they asked where I was headed.  I told them I was meeting some friends inside, and I said they could join me while they waited for their friends.  I introduced them to my people, they made themselves comfortable, and random conversations occurred.  At one point one of them, possibly Forty-six, asked my friend what her relationship status was because he thought it might be useful information.  I thought that was amusing but didn't really pay much attention because I wasn't interested in either of them.  Why?  I'm really not sure.  They were nice enough, entertaining, and they weren't hideous; I just wasn't attracted to them (possibly because they looked older than me, and we know "older than me" isn't my normal type).  When they left, Forty-six gave me his business card and told me to email him because "Even if you aren't interested or available, we're having a party and I've got friends and you've got friends - it could be fun."  I agreed, thanked him, hugged the guys bye.

Two weeks went by when I found his card in my purse.  I decided I had nothing to lose, and a story to gain.  So I emailed him and asked if he wants he to meet up for coffee.  Now we wait.

P.S. They told one of my friends that they weren't really looking for live music, they just asked about it to strike up a conversation.  Conversation activated.  Try it out next time you want to talk to someone.