Walking on Sunshine (because being sad is no fun)

Fact: I'm doing all right.  After initially reading the "you shouldn't come to LA" email, I told my friend Rob that there was a 93% chance that I wasn't going to LA and asked him to please plan some fun to distract me from the potential sadness.  Bonus fact: my friends are terrific.  They kept me occupied and entertained with rafting, dinners, drinks, cookouts, and loads of silliness and laughter.  In addition to sweetly offering to punch Forty-nine for me (I politely declined those offers), they also drenched me with apologies and loving words that I think friends are required to offer such as, "He's missing out on a stellar catch," "Does he know that he just let go of the greatest girl," "You are amazing, beautiful, and strong," "His loss," "I hope he realizes his mistake before it's too late," "You are pure awesome and deserve only the best," "Didn't he get the memo that you're the best catch ever" and so on and so on.  If my ego was hurting at all before this, it was quickly mended.

I was busy and feeling fine (and by "fine" I mean that maybe my heart stopped for a second when my phone would light up with a call, message, or email in the hopes that it was him) until a week after it all happened when I had a day by myself while dogsitting; since I had nothing to divert my attention from the sadness, I made the silly decision to torture myself a bit and read through some of our messages from the past few months.  Sadness activated.  To distract myself from that downward spiral I turned on the TV and started crying when Fast and Furious was playing because he loves that movie.  I cried for a few minutes before I started laughing about the fact that I was crying over Fast and Furious because that's just nonsense.  I like to think Forty-nine had moments of sadness, too, though.  Not because I want him to be unhappy, but because it would be nice to know that he liked me enough to miss me and have second thoughts about his second thoughts.

Rather than being of the mindset of "his loss," though, I'm going to focus on the idea that both of us hopefully gained things while getting to know each other.  As I went through our messages one of my favorites was, "You are an interesting creature, Penelope. I'm glad we met."  I hope that he always feels that way because I'm definitely thankful that I met him.  However, if he didn't take anything away from our time together, at least now he has this blog to use as a reference for any future girlfriend who needs examples of why he's a great catch.

One of my friends said to me, "I'm hoping this is just one of those parts in a movie that has the viewer upset, but then it all works out with a happy ending." While I absolutely love that idea, I'm not going to sit around waiting for that scene to unfold.  I sent him a letter (along with a house-warming present that I had intended to take to him that weekend) briefly stating my feelings about "us" and eloquently quoting Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock.  And now, rather than sitting around with thoughts of "If only he had seen me shine at karaoke and dancing then he would have fallen for me for life" or pining away and waiting to see if he will respond to my letter, I'm going to do what I do best - live, dance, spread love to the world, and continue to walk on sunshine because I am surrounded by wonderful people and truly do have a fantastic life.

To be on the safe side I'll also avoid all Fast and Furious movies.